Your Sense of Self
Neurobiologists have struggled to find a “homunculus” within the brain representing your sense of self. Rather, they tend to describe a constant stream of shifting information that bends and shifts to the environment. If the people around you believe something, you will tend to believe it. If circumstances around you change, you will likely change with them. The tendency to cling to a certain way of seeing the world can be described as pathology, a lack of flexibility. This would require psychotherapy and a “loosening of associations”.
The more you believe this, the more likely it may be true. If you believe there is no truth, then around what truth does your brain form? It becomes the ultimate form of narcissism. You simply see the world in a way that best suits you. Brain patterns form around shifting loyalties and behaviors that allow your opinion to dominate. This type of pattern is seen in adolescents when the brain is undergoing reconstruction or in Bipolar Disorder.
Your subconscious mind knows your past and looks to the future to optimize each moment of your life. It has a unique form of communication with everyone around you. It also keeps in mind the relationships of everyone around you. But… it does all of this without you really knowing it. Much like an adolescent, you may believe all of this information simply shows up when you need it. The next word you speak simply “appears”.
Your subconscious mind has a circuit that grounds your sense of self, sense of others and sense of all others. It is in relationship with your conscious mind, the conscious mind of others and all others. It thinks in relationship and attempts to optimize every decision around all information available for all relationships. It is preverbal and the ultimate “out of the box” thinker - and it works best when you know it exists.
Your conscious mind helps subconscious mind by putting words onto what subconscious mind investigates. It does this through your endless thought stream. Putting words on what your subconscious mind does, helps to organize the effort. It’s much like focusing your attention or turning your head so that you can see something better. It gives your subconscious mind more information while investigating something.
So basically, you do have a unique point of view. The more deeply you connect to your subconscious mind, the better your point of view is organized for the benefit of everyone involved. This requires dedication, trust and patience.
Dedication, Trust, Patience
First, you must believe in this very personal relationship and know that everyone was created to have a similar relationship within them. Given subconscious mind’s special connection with others, you know that seeing this relationship in others helps you both connect to these resources. It can be tempting to short circuit what your subconscious mind tells you and do something with little consideration of others. This too can become a practice and runs counter to your greatest insights.
Second, you must trust subconscious mind’s process. It is the ultimate believer in longer term gains. It will avoid short term advantages if it means lessening your personal growth, hurting another or compromising the greater good. It thinks in the long term so one may be tempted away from your greatest insights by some short-term obvious gain.
Third, you must be patient. It can take time to discern what might be best for any relationship. Sometimes you must walk with a question, trusting that in time the right answer will become evident. This is the difference between a worry and a concern. A worry is an untrusting constant. A concern is something you can walk away from for a while to reconsider at another time.
This is the way of your faith in something greater than yourself…with dedication…with trust…and with patience.
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