Member Question: How Intent Affects Relationships

 

Member Question

I just don’t know why but I struggle to stay involved with friends. We like each other, they are good people but when it comes time to call, I can’t get myself to do it. As long as they make the call we stay in touch. Many times they will talk for hours. I am a good listener. Eventually, they stop calling or maybe even I stop answering. Why is this happening? - Mary

You hear with your ears. You see with your eyes. Emotions are sensed through your mind-body connections with circuits that sense the inside of your body! (A Process called interoception) Your mind then searches out related ways of thinking that fit and create a story to go along with the feeling. Your moment-to-moment intent has a lot to do with guiding this process. When you are open to your Spiritual Source and meditate or pray on your relationships, you increase your ability to "feel into" the connections of your relationships. Oneness asks that you practice and deepen this experience.

Interestingly, you experience the relationship with your spiritual source much as you sense any other relationship. As you are "feeling into" the unknown there becomes no separation between your spiritual source and you. This is the internal Oneness you can guide your life by. The name given your spiritual source doesn't change this reality of this spiritual process. There is another way to experience your Spiritual Source... through Oneness relationships. Enjoying these multiple points of contact with your Spiritual Source provides reference points to guide and support the Intent you bring into each moment. Each reference point, each relationship, provides guidance for every response in every moment in your life. You can then lay down these moments of wisdom with compassion each night to be used and refined again another day.

The Intent we bring to each moment guides your focus, your reactions and how your memories are stored. As you move through your life your memories serve as the ‘flavor’ you call on while responding to any situation in your life. You look for, enjoy and positively respond to people and situations that you consider like us. Your Subconscious Mind uses its vast storehouse of information to help in this process. The energy and flavor of your new memories will be colored by the flavor of the Intent you brought into these moments of their birth. These flavors will also act as pathways that connect one string of memories to another and affect how they will used in the future.

When you sense that the ‘flavor’ of your relationship no longer matches what you expect, uneasy emotional signals will surface from your Subconscious Mind communicating to you that something is wrong. It also can be just a queasy feeling that has you feel concerned. You might then ask yourself, “What’s got me concerned?”,“What am I missing?”, “What am I not hearing?” “Why does this relationship feel a little stiff?”, “What can I do to center and really clarify how I feel?” “Who can I reach out to and connect with to understand what I’m feeling?”

When the Intent you bring to the moment slips to something less growthfull, you may respond only to the emotion of such messages, which may mislead you. The emotion the Subconscious Mind uses serves to simply 'wakes us up' to the fact that something is going on and is not fully integrated. When you investigate how you feel and "feel into" the situation you extend your ability to read and respond to any concern more accurately. In Oneness, sharing with another how you are feeling can add another 'Spiritual Source' view, as in Oneness, your Spiritual Source is my Spiritual Source.

You walk with these questions between your Conscious and Subconscious Mind constantly. They run in the background of your thought life and create subtle effects in your moment-to moment life decisions. So Subconsciously a question is always in play even if you don't fully realize it. The less integrated your moment to moment questions is (Intent) with your Spiritual Source, the more you will become confused and project false concerns onto others...and the more suffering it will create in your relationships.

These are the ‘rocks’ in the garden of your mind. We all have them and yet most of them run below your awareness. They are the thoughts and feelings connected to past life situations that carry an intent that is poorly connected to the way you usually think, feel and act. They remain outside our Oneness loop.

So, in each moment, as you think or speak you might ask yourself, “Is this a message of compassion that I am offering? Am I listening intently for the message that this conversation or this moment, has for me?" If not you can begin a little journey by genuinely smile at this non-integrated thought or "little rock" we have discovered in the garden of your life. You can look to integrate these thoughts and feelings and ask this little rock, "Do you have any friends?” Everything that causes you to suffer has a message waiting for you and represents a rock in your garden. You often discover these little rocks in your deepest relationships where the wise use of your strengths is tested.

Personal Development Activity

This week, practice listening to your spiritual source within and between you and another you know and love. Also, choose a time to begin the practice of listening in on the conversation you are having with yourself. It can be while you are on a walk, driving your car or any time you can arrange some quiet time. It may be easiest to do this as a form of meditation.  Developing this ability allows you to know your thoughts without being ‘grabbed by them’. This is a strength that is well worth learning!

Welcome to the Oneness Approach!

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