How do Oneness and Love Work Together?
Life can happen to us but I don’t think we have to live too long before we begin to notice patterns to the suffering in our life. Might it be that we have...just a little...to do with the suffering that befalls us?
Not everything, certainly, but there are tendencies.
Oneness and love work together to help us find these tendencies. Oneness states that we are all loved by the same ‘Higher Power’ by whatever name we give. It also supposes we are all loved equally. We are all on the same team. We each are charged to ‘love each other as ourselves’.
But, are we all equal? Nope!
We come in all shapes and sizes. We come with different native abilities and are able to learn and perform skills at various competencies. We are born to cultures where our skills and social positions at least begin in different places offering differing opportunities. We may be born to a wealthy family or orphaned and left to be raised on the streets.
Oneness suggests that we are loved, others are loved the same, we are to love each other as ourselves and that love’s flavor is the same.
Love’s message is easily distorted. It is a beautiful mountain that we each see with different eyes, hear with different ears, experience with a different life…but it is the same mountain, which is why oneness and love perfectly compliment each other.
Our message of Love is small, but it has all the potential of all that Love has to offer. When we share our ‘little message’ with others, both of our messages grow and the flavor of Love clarifies in our mind.
Love others as yourself will have differing expectations although the intent and flavor is the same. An economically rich man in love and compassion for an economically ‘poor man’ will share from his monetary wealth. In doing so he offers the poor man an example of love and compassion he may not have experienced before. The economically poor man, in love and compassion, will share from his personal gifts that in mindfulness or through inspiration the economically poor man feels compelled to offer the economically rich man. Possibly the gift that ‘Tiny Tim’ offered Ebenezer Scrooge, in Charles Dickens’, ‘A Christmas Carol’.
Some call to share some flavor of love but with different paths and opportunities. Without Love, both can be miserable. Without Love both can chase their desires and leave this earth unfulfilled. Without Love both will be filled with various addictions, anger and delusions regarding this world. The ‘Objects’ of their discontent will likely be different, but without love and compassion the suffering will likely be much the same.
Oneness suggests that we each are given our own voice, created by the gifts we are given to share. We each have within us Loves call, but we each must find our way. Gifts can be dramatic, or subtle. Gifts may be multiple or…not so much. Gifts may be easily appreciated by our culture, or again…not so much. Each challenge the same yet different.
It has been said, “To he/she that has been given much, much is expected.” (Parable of ‘The Faithful Servant’ [Luke 12:48], used by JFK and many others.) From what I have seen so far in my life, I would agree.
Oneness Helps Us Find the Objects of Our Attachments
So when we have the gift of intelligence in a particular arena, we need to not only develop this gift but also develop the wisdom around when, where and how we will use it. Each gift we possess for example; wealth, sensitivity, power, or physical attractiveness, carries with it unique challenges when called to use them in Love. There are, however, some common themes. In each of these gifts, we tend to struggle with knowing when to ‘put down’ our gift. We thus rely on it too much or in situations where another strategy would have shown greater awareness and compassion. It also, long term, would have been more effective for everyone involved! One axiom of Oneness is that when a gift is optimally shared in love and compassion, everyone involved I the sharing will maximally benefit.
We are all tempted to feel that, given our strength in a particular area, that we can get around the ‘normal rules’ or boundaries ‘others are given to follow’. Thus, when we have wealth we may be tempted to allow our money to be a little more available to our friends than true love and compassion would dictate. Are we offering true love and compassion or are we offering the realization that we are wealthy? This, of course, distorts the friendship as others build attachments to the availability of money rather than to offering true love and compassion in the friendship.
Another difficulty that may be more difficult to perceive, accept and understand is the fact that we are typically perceived differently if we have a particular gift. For example, a physically attractive young boy or girl needs to learn quickly in life how to handle the way this gift can distort the ways others perceive them. Sensitivity, or the ability to see deeply into how others feel, is particularly ‘interesting’ (A Buddhist curse!) gift to deal with. Often a young person who is sensitive to the feelings of others feels confused or overwhelmed with all the information that is available around them. Others may perceive this as an intrinsic weakness rather than an undeveloped skill. It has been my experience that this skill may be slow to recognize and develop as many in their thirties continue to see it as a sign of weakness and can often be heard saying, ‘I wish I weren’t so sensitive!’ Of course, when I offer, “Would you rather be insensitive?” I have yet to have anyone respond that they would.
By thoughtfully considering the skills we bring to this earth and combining this with our sense of mission given to us by our Higher Power, this use of Oneness therapy can reveal potential areas where we are challenged to grow. Another advantage is that we can also be directed to our inappropriate attachments. We start with building our moment to moment awareness (Mindfulness) of the all-consuming love and compassion we feel from our Higher Power. We define for ourselves the words ‘love’ and ‘compassion’ from this existential relationship. We then use these words as the measuring stick for how we feel about the anything or anyone in this world. We are given to ask ourselves, “Does the way I feel about food match the way my Higher Power intends me to feel about food (Greed)? Does the anger I feel towards that person, place or thing carry compassion’s balance, understanding and guidance towards optimal outcome that defines the love I feel from my Higher Power and my life mission (Anger)? If I were to look into the eyes of my Higher Power could I ‘keep a straight face’ around the story I use to describe myself or someone in my life? Do the emotions I feel really match up with the love that is offered me? (Delusion)” Each morning, we can use the love we are freely given, as a motivator (Our big “Why!”) to help define our goals and live out our life mission. For example, “Because God has given me this wonderful gift of my body that I use to share love and compassion with all others in my life, I commit to...”