The Gift of Thoughts and Feelings
What's the great thing about our feelings? Our feelings allow us measure the type and amount of importance we have for someone or something. It is a gift. As you know, each gift comes with a responsibility. When giving the gift of our feelings we need to be aware of who we are communicating with, our intent for sharing the information and the intent they will have with it. Not everyone can be responsible with such a precious gift without taking advantage of it. When allowing access to such a gift we must trust that the person it is given to is not going to hurt our feelings, or send us on an emotional roller coaster ride...but more on this later.
The Gift of Oneness
The gift of Oneness explains the place Oneness can have in our lives. I believe we all have an important message to share with our world. It has been my experience that we each have a somewhat different message to share. These thoughts encourage me to listen carefully to everyone I meet.
Oneness is described as more than just our thoughts and feelings. This goes along very well with the way we have discovered our brain is wired. We have brain cells responsible for 'tagging' specific perceptions with the emotions we have learned along the way. For example, when people smile a certain way, their smile may remind us of an uncle who was particularly kind to us. Our emotional circuits (VLPC) will read the millions of individual inputs each receptor provides as we look for and notice a certain smile as 'nice' or 'warm'. The 'we look for' part comes from the unconscious circuits that have been brought forward to our conscious mind by our past experiences and the intent we bring to each moment.
Our thought circuits are tagged in the unconscious part of our mind called the hippocampus and then stored throughout the prefrontal cortex. The way we store this information and the frequency we call upon the information determines how easily we will be able call on it in the future. Our conscious cognitive thoughts run in circuits involving the DLPC. When we are in a particular situation that reminds us of a similar, previous situation (conversational topics, a particular setting like sitting with our intimate partner at a beach) these circuits will be queued to think and respond as they have responded to similar situations in the past.
Our 'highest mind' or OFC has the ability, when we use it, to bring an intent to the moment that acknowledges these perceptions but also allows us to see, feel and experience our life with a certain freshness. Our OFC may allow us to look at 'that certain smile' in a new way. Guided by our intent to experience each moment as my spiritual source desires I may notice that his smile today seems a little sad. Instead of receiving the gift of his smile as I usually do, I might smile and ask, "A penny for your thoughts?" When sitting on a beach with our intimate partner, instead of talking about issues of the day, we might decide to share the time in quietness, to be with them in the moment, to be thankful and to look again at what a beautiful person they are.
Understanding Your Emotions: How the Brain Self Monitors
Our responsibility for each of our gifts is to use our gifts in alignment with our Higher Power, our highest mind, and our highest precepts. Sometimes, our feelings may not make sense to us. You may have trouble even understanding your emotions. Do you go with the old adage, "Trust your feelings"? Or do you default to, "Don’t let your feelings run away with you"?'
Here is where the rubber meets the road. When we make our decisions based on 'how I see, think, and feel about this situation' we are truly walking blind. Hopefully we are a 'nice person' but eventually, without the ongoing help of our highest mind we are going to start making systematized mistakes. For example, we will decide we are right in a relationship and we will direct all of our efforts to prove the other person wrong. Here, the OFC is metabolically inactive. With this thought process, we are extremely susceptible to all of the three poisons, particularly 'delusion'.
When we base the decisions in our relationship with our spiritual source, we are in our zone. We are using our highest mind. This is the part of the brain that has the ability to organize how we think and feel. We then reach deep down into our unconscious memories and 'fill in the blanks' to make our best decisions.
Another way to assure that we are using our highest mind is to realize that our spiritual source provided the gift of this relationship and greatly desires our best response. It also helps to realize that our spiritual source is the spiritual source of others, and loves them as our spiritual source loves us. This awareness comes under the heading, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. As you can probably tell, experiencing each moment of our life from these three perspectives, each being the same spiritual perspective, can be very powerful.
How to Choose a Relationship We Can Trust with Our Feelings
The above paragraph describes the heart of the Oneness Approach. With this approach our highest mind, the OFC, can use our mirror neurons to express deeply our conscious and unconscious intent. Our mind tends to try to follow what we are exposed to, for better or worse. When we are in our 'Oneness State' it tends to draw others into this same mental organization. As a result we can consciously and unconsciously share information in a way that is congruent, compassionate, engendering rapport. We must however realize, we will still sometimes disagree. This happens in all respectful relationships. To disagree is not seen as dangerous but as an opportunity to learn. We look for the 'third answer' or compromise that each relationship is created to find.
Neurologically we are drawn to all our relationships. This is because there is a part of the other person that is like us and that we enjoy. There is also a part of this other person that is not like us that we need to help us enhance our weaknesses. (Left brain/Right brain) So while generally we will agree about and enjoy many things, eventually we will run into the place where our differences require us to grow. These initial differences will no longer appear so different and superficially enticing. The real pull of all apparent differences is a place where our Higher Power wants us to grow and learn from them.
So while we experience, enjoy and grow in the sameness of our relationships. Our spiritual source also offers us the opportunity to experience, find profoundly moving, and grow in the apparent differences of our relationships. To be Wholistically involved with anyone we must acknowledge that there will be both types of growth offered and that we must remain committed to both.
We continually search for our spiritual source's promise of a third answer.