Peering into Your Intimacy

Most people want to explore deep meaningful intimacy with their partner. The spaciousness of such a relationship allows for the necessary trust to share the most sensitive parts of us. Here we experience the joy of someone wanting to know and caring about how we feel. We experience a transformation as we allow ourselves to drink deeply from all that they offer. Above all else, it is simply joyful and a space for us to be.

The Search for Meaningful Intimacy

A lot of effort goes into finding that special person. Learning how to begin this search takes many forms. Our family guides us more by what we see, than what they share with us. We look to those around us - again more as witnesses to what seems to work or not, rather than really sharing. We watch our favorite actors in movies and talk shows for tips and clues. And, behind every movie, every book, every website there is an author sharing what he or she thinks you need, or want to hear. And yet, all of this effort rarely provides more than a hint of what we yearn for.

It has been said that such wisdom is “transferred” more than taught. As so as words are offered to try to explain intimacy, a metaphor dances by. Often something like… “Intimacy is like cool water as it washes down a mountain waterfall. Sometimes vibrant like a roaring river, then suddenly as peaceful as waters slipping into the sea.” Physically, intimacy can be described as unrestrained sharing between your Subconscious Mind and theirs.

Intimacy and the Subconscious Mind

Our Subconscious Mind is yet another concept that is difficult to wrap our heads around. It is the “biological storehouse” of all we have ever experienced. It is fed with all of our senses including ones we are not consciously aware of. It is the ground of our conscious being but is so ubiquitous that it goes unnoticed by our conscious awareness, much like a fish unaware of the water around it. It processes information in ways that are beyond our verbal understanding. Teaching from this well of knowledge must be transferred - one person to another.

So why would one hesitate when offered such a chance? And yet, we do.

You may have been struggling with your life partner, when suddenly they may make a breakthrough. They understand what you have been saying and finally see how much you love them. Instead of resisting you, as they have done so many times in the past, they look into your eyes and approach you. And you say, “Wait a minute!”

Thereafter, your dance takes on yet another direction and another reaching for closeness. This circular dance is like two moons constantly circling a planet, each plunging towards intimacy, yet equally dancing away. With such desire for closeness, what holds us back? With so much passion between us, why not linger and enjoy? You want to finally share and experience their full love and they will finally see and experience you!

Seeing Yourself in Intimacy

Of course, if they can see you, then you will be able to see yourself ... hmmm.

Questions arise and these answers will need to be experienced more than found:

Will I like myself?
You will love your true self!
What about the anchors I have established around who I am now, my strengths, my positions?
You will be anchored by your soul!
What about the dark places I sense within me?
Those dark places will become your sources of brilliance!
What will I do with the shame I feel and know I deserve?
It will serve as a light and awaken your transformational healing awareness.
Will others still like me?
Others will finally know you!
How can I be sure this will work?
You can be sure that this is your way!
It would be easier to just do as I’m doing now.
You are already changing your course…and you know it.
What if I can’t make it?
You are already there.
This is just too painful?
Open your eyes to your moments of joy ... let this light your way.
I love myself now and all of those I am able to help.
Love the child within you, hold the child tenderly as he/she reaches for help and then shows you the way to live, to love, to give and to be.

This dance of intimacy begins within you - and is you. Explore yourself, know yourself and love yourself and you will enjoy the intimacy you seek.

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