When You Hate the Holiday Season

The days are getting shorter. You get up and it’s dark. You come home and it’s dark. It’s cold. The roads are dangerous and people seem to have forgotten how to drive. It’s another day of getting up, working all day and pretending to be happy. You hear someone in the background playing “Jingle Bell Rock” and you want to ring their neck!

“'Tis the season to be jolly” but often there is a heaviness in the air. The heaviness may seem impenetrable. It may seem the season’s call to enjoy family and friends was never there for you. Maybe it was there a long time ago but things have changed. Maybe family and friends are still there, but not for you. That can be painful, but in the heaviness there lies hope.

Finding Joy in the Holiday Season

You are more than you know. There is honestly more to you than you could ever possibly know. You have subconscious resources that are preverbal expressing much more than mere words can offer. You are told to “trust your gut”. That is where your subconscious mind expresses itself. It gives you a sense of what is available in your relationships. It is real and it has its own language. It is a language of pure love for you. And it wants to share this pure love with others.

The holidays are a collective expression of everyone’s subconscious desire to reach out. Again, it is real and it is calling for you. Much as Scrooge’s, “Bah- Humbug” was a cry for love and connection, so that feeling that you "hate the holiday season" is yours. Scrooge had to be taught the true meaning of Christmas. Let’s feel into the true meaning of the heaviness that you or a loved one may be feeling. Let’s talk about the meaning behind the heaviness caused by missing, feeling alone, grieving or hating a friend or family member.

Overcoming Negative Emotions

You may be missing your family and friends. Most of my original family lives within 100 yards of me. This is likely not the case for you. You may have moved away to find work. You may not have prepared for ongoing relationships with family and old friends. Except now feel the heaviness that the holidays bring. A Christmas carol brings back old memories - and you remember. This is your subconscious mind’s call to re-engage with family and old friends. People are busy so create the traditions that will allow them to clear their busy calendars. Your subconscious mind knows your true desire and has a pretty good read on the desires of those you know and love. “If you build the traditions, they will come”. Remember who you are and the love you share, today and every day.

You may feel alone without the availability of family or friends. Families are smaller these days and despite the internet, opportunities for real connection are easily avoided. You may have your favorite shows, the continuously addictive news, your favorite YouTube sites and time working out in your basement. If you feel lonely, your subconscious mind is asking you to reach out. You have love to share and your little “love-bird” neurons are screaming to connect. Join something! We all need three “inboxes” for ongoing active relationships. These are places you can count on, long term, to connect and make new friends. These organizations are there for you now and they must be there for you later as old friends move on and new friends join in. Let your little light shine!

You may be grieving a dear friend or family member. Their death may have been recent or, especially when it’s a parent, years past. Grieving is a subconscious call to connect with them where they are. Your subconscious mind never forgets. It loves them today as much as yesterday. It uses the knowledge and wisdom of your relationship with them continuously. Grieving is a subconscious request to put words on this ongoing, living relationship with them. If you believe they are in heaven, then they know they have all the answers to all of life’s questions and are happy. They are aware of the reasons behind all mistakes and foibles. All resentments are forgotten and there exists only love for you to help guide you along your way, as you believe. Your subconscious mind needs you to put words on your belief system, make it real and know they are there reaching out for you. This is the “peace that passes all understanding.”

You may be anxious about, angry with or even hating a family member. The heaviness you feel is a call from your subconscious mind to use the eyes of the “child of God” in you to see the “child of God” in them. Your subconscious mind is five years old. It will always have the countenance of a five-year-old, even as an adult. When we experience one another using only our adult eyes, we can become very judgmental and “the truth is not in us”. You can’t fully comprehend the complexities involved in your relationship with God, others and with life. You can’t connect with the emotions involved in the mistakes we human are given to make. When smile knowingly at the anger and judgment inside you, your inner child appears and you see the inner child in another. You then see your relationships as God sees them. Talk with your family member about this new vision. This new way of experiencing each other. Children don’t keep score. Forget old trespasses, start the relationship on this new footing and let the Spirit flow!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from my family to yours!

To learn more ways to cultivate meaningful, inspiring and lasting relationships with others and to get to know yourself deeply, sign up risk-free for the Grow in Oneness course.