You have worked very hard to get to where you are. You remained focused on your goal. You had to let go of some things along the way but it was worth it. As a matter of fact, with all this effort and practice you have to admit that you are pretty darn good. At this point, it may seem easier to keep up these efforts rather than considering anything else. But there is likely a little voice in your head begging for a little consideration. It may be telling you your life is out of balance.
Take a Runner's Approach
There are seasons of life that call for an all-encompassing effort. A part of shaping personal resilience is building your ability to run up a hill, as well as go the distance. Let’s take this running analogy a bit further to integrate a more organic understanding of how this might relate to your life.
There are always surprises on a longer race. An experienced runner reviews their upcoming race to prepare for novel challenges a race may offer. If there is a particularly challenging hill? They will anticipate how they will marshal their resources beforehand to get up the hill. They will also study the course just after the hill. Is their yet another hill? Is there a downward slope for a time or does it simply level off? They want to monitor and maximize their resources before, during and after the hill.
No two races are alike, even when running the same course but, your life is even more variable. This requires the very same care and monitoring of the seasons of your life. Some are predictable, some are not. Your resilience for both needs to be developed and matured. Often, education, child rearing and business opportunities likely represent “hills” in your life.
When a runner approaches the top of the hill, they shift their mindset. Every cell in their body adjusts from optimized “hill mode” back to a more balanced, sustainable way of running. Their physiology would break down before they completed the race were they not to adjust. But it certainly is fun engaging those thigh muscles. If you could sustain this effort just a bit longer you could really get ahead!!
Many of my friends after residency fell into this trap. After working 80-90 hours a week for 4-15 years they had become used to the schedule. They also were financial strapped by slave labor wages and student loans. They entered their professional lives with literally nothing but debt. It was tempting to keep working long hours to “catch up and get ahead”. These was less awareness of was how much their relationships had struggled along the way. Worse, they lacked personal awareness of their foibles in other relationships. (Never attend a party with doctors!)
Are you in such a time in your life? Have you put everything else aside to get to where you are? You may have this effort fine-tuned, but at what cost to your relationships? Forget any guilt! This is just you and I talking.
Out of Balance? Create Deeper Relationships
Let’s talk about some of the issues involved in creating deeper relationships:
- Change requires energy, effort and planning and these may be in short supply.
- Change requires an adjustment in your effective and comfortable life.
- Change requires re-engagement or engagement for a first time in potentially “starting from scratch” relationships.
- The potential “pain versus gain” may not look appealing.
- You may not have a “dance partner” for another type of relationship and you may have forgotten how the dance goes.
- Those who like what you are doing like where you are.
- You’re afraid.
If you are taking the time to read this article, then your subconscious mind is calling out to you. It knows you, loves you and is the greater part of you. It joins with your Spirituality to make the most of every moment in your life. There are parts of you that are reaching out to engage, grow and help you live an enduringly happy life. There are exciting parts of you yearning to reach out to enhance your abilities in every relationship, even the one you are so rightfully proud of right now.
Ok…let’s say this in the language you may now be more familiar with.
Do you want to “take names” or follow the crowd? Second place is “first loser” right!
Don’t merely work hard. Live smart.
Create a living balance in your relationships. You may overestimate what you can do in a year, but you will grossly underestimate what you will accomplish in ten!
You are not a human doing, you are a human being!
Now, back to Oneness…
The Spirit lives in your relationships…
To continue gaining greater confidence and balance in your personal and professional life, sign up risk-free for the Grow in Oneness course.