Is conflict difficult for you? When things get “interesting” on the television, do you have to leave the room? When you walk in a room, do you sense how everyone in the room is feeling? And ... have you ever told someone, “I wish I wasn’t so sensitive!” If so, then welcome to the “Empath Club!”

What Being an Empath Means

Empathy is the ability to sense how another is feeling. This ability is an inherited trait that has to do with your “mirror neuronal system”. This is one of three systems that connect you to your world. The first system is called your “interoceptive system”. This is a fancy name for the neurons that allow you to feel the inside of your body. This is the system that you use to ground all of your neurological strengths. You optimize it when you pray or meditate. It provides grounding for the other two systems that connect you to the world, your mirror neurons and the third system, the “Recurrent Loop” system. This last system grounds you to the rest of the world.

As you would likely tell me, it is very easy to get lost in the feelings of others. Sensing their feelings often better than the other person themselves can leads to interesting questions. When you know that a person feels a certain way about something and they aren't aware themselves, should you tell them?

When you know that a person feels that they really need something, should you give it to them? Of course, not always! However, when you feel another’s needs better than they can feel yours, does this cause inequities in your relationships? (Of course!) Do you find yourself talking to others about their problems... a lot? Do you find yourself “giving in” just to keep the peace or just to keep them from bringing iti up again?

What about Compassion?

There is another word we should discuss, “compassion”. This is when you know how another feels and you “decide” to respond in a caring way. Have you noticed that the process of “deciding” has been automated? In other words, are always feeling compassionate about everyone… always?! Are you still wondering why you often feel overwhelmed? Is this working for you?

There is a lot of wisdom that must be earned if we are to use our empathic skills wisely. Wisdom… is learning how to use our natural, neurologically based skills in ways that serve all of our relationships. Literally, the smartest parts of your brain must to be stimulated to grow across the brain to where memories of your relationships are stored. The more you practice, the more this part of your brain extends its influence.

Being an Empath - with Wisdom

So, what can you do about all of this? First, given your reach into others' feelings, you would be well served to spend a little time each morning after a glass of water and a few alignment exercises in meditation/prayer. This allows you to ground in your own thoughts and feelings.

Second, after you get up from your cushion, think about a relationship that seems out of balance. Decide to practice grounding by taking a deep breath, before you “decide” how you want to respond the feelings you sense in them and the advice they seek. When you do decide to offer something, immediately afterward ask for their help or advice. The law of reciprocity may help them overcome some initial resistance. If there is another person in thier life who could better help them, let them know. You do not need to be the one who has all the answers... although this role may surprisingly be difficult to let go. It will take time but, I think you will find that your communication between you will slowly become more equal, deeper and much more satisfying!

Please consider the Grow video membership for much more information on this strength of yours. It is wonderful and certainly, the world needs you!

2 replies
  1. Kim Wilson
    Kim Wilson says:

    I hope this is a place to post this question. I have attended a service called ‘Women of the Cross’ . The attendees each take on a role of a woman who would have seen Jesus carrying the cross to Calvary. Each time I attend, I begin weeping uncontrollaby, to the point that I can’t continue on with my reading. I become so embarrassed but am unable to stop. Help?

    Reply
    • Michael Seng
      Michael Seng says:

      Kim,

      Enjoy the fullness of your relationship with Jesus! Although he chose and accepted his life, it doesn’t mean that we who love him “like” what he went through. You were made to love Him. You were made to accept this offering He made for you. You were made to understand the reality of this gift. As an empath, you were made to feel his feelings as he traversed His life. Your strength will present a challenge… but the challenge is to accept “Thy will be done”. So… cry as you wish and ground your tears in Faith.

      Namaste,

      Dr. Seng

      Reply

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