The Right Focus
There is a tendency in the therapeutic community to talk about problems. I suppose this is quite natural as you likely go to a therapist because you have a problem! However, solely talking about our problems creates yet another issue. Overcoming a problem is impossible when we focus only on the problem itself. This is because we can not find our solutions unless we include our way of looking at the world and the strengths involved in the creation of the problem.
At times you may see a therapist for a simple second opinion. This may work and it may have you avoid future serious consequences. In truth, almost any therapist is going to let you know if a decision you are making is leading you into dire consequences for you or your family. Most therapy is likely a combination of allowing you to discover how the situation came about, what you can do about it, how you might have predicted and avoided it and how you can avoid such situations in the future...all on your owns terms.
Overcoming Problems by Aligning Your Mind
A therapist really wants you to learn about who you are, when you are aligned and when you are not aligned. When aligned you will discover who you are, your strengths and how to use these strengths with wisdom in your relationships. You will also need to learn how, when and with whom you tend to unalign. What you will find is that by building the bridges across you Conscious and Subconscious Minds these tendencies to unalign will lessen. So, while you want to know your tendencies to unalign “your problems”, your answers will be found in building your alignment or “Oneness” within, between you and others and beyond for the greater good.
When you understand yourself better you are able to use each of your strengths with much greater wisdom. More than this, you are able to have empathy for, understand and help others better. In all forms of human endeavor, we connect in our pain and we align with who we are. We need both to truly be effective in this world. This leads to the question, what do we do with those we share pain with, but cannot align with? A good friend or family member makes a decision that is contrary to your beliefs. What are you to do?
When a Conflict Arises
I don’t pretend here to have all of the answers but here are a few guidelines. Is your connection deep? Is this family? If either of these is the case, then looking for areas of alignment and sharing a relationship in these areas makes sense for overcoming problems. You can make clear where you do not align to avoid any confusion this may create. Connection is real. Connection is a part of you. This is where you have power. This is where love shows its strength and endurance. By living this way, you live as if your relationships are real, because they are. They are an intrinsic part of you.
To learn much more about this and other interesting human situations consider our video mentoring program Practitioners of Oneness.