There are people who can walk into a room and own it. They have a strong presence. They project self-assurance and confidence, but they readily admit their struggles and faults, making them all the more endearing. No arrogance, just realness and humility. This makes them so easy to trust, someone you want to create solid, outstanding and transforming relationships with.
Developing charisma is something leaders seek to achieve. How do they do this? And is this something you can learn to do and apply in your life?
The Dark Side of Charisma
Scam artists have learned to twist their charisma in a way that pushes people off balance, until they can get them to sign on the dotted line and “give away the farm.”
They “stir the pain” a person is having in their life turning natural wants into addictive needs. (Like having the best computer whose "special features" you'll never use.) They have you sign contracts with hidden agendas you would never agree to. This is an example of using the natural strength of empathy in an unaligned way. Buddhist refer to this an an example of the "Three Poisons: Anger/Anxiety, Delusion/Addiction and Judgmentalism. We all fall prey to this at sometime... and sometimes many times in our life. Because they can be so convincing!
Decisions made when under the influence of people who are using their empathy addictively also follow the three poisons following one of three spheres:
- Fear - “If I don’t accept this offer, I may never…,”
- Addiction - “I would be a fool not to take this big fat offer.”
- Distrust - “I’m so dumb in this arena and they’re the experts,” or, “If they are dumb enough to give me their money...” or “Others would do it too if they could get away with it.”
Although one can learn to use their empathic abilities in this way, it’s the opposite of what The Oneness Approach is about. The Oneness Approach teaches you to align your Conscious and Subconscious Minds with the guidance of your Faith or "Spiritual Source" by whatever name you give. Without this internal alignment, you are completely vulnerable to another's pain-stirring efforts. You can’t “feel into” the motivations of the other person and, in the end, your own motivations can slip.
The Oneness Approach helps you to recognize how such a relationship feels and helps you avoid it altogether. The Oneness Approach leads you towards decisions that incorporate your wisdom and inspired relationships. Your charisma is developed with practises that guide your empathic skills with compassion and wisdom. ("Two wings of the bird")
Charisma and Empathy Through the Oneness Approach
When you are internally aligned, you sense you sense the wisdom and compassion of your Spiritual Source. You bath your neurobiological Oneness with your existential or spiritual self view. In this way your relationships and the compassion your have for the world provides a greater, deeper and more consistent penetration into the resources of your Subconscious Mind.
When you take a deep breath, you feel firmly grounded and the intent you bring to the moment is clear. With this kind of clarity comes the power to create authentic change. You have more energy, concentration, focus and curiosity in each moment. It’s a happy cycle, because this internal clarity provides a simpler yet more effective purpose that lines up with your integrity. Delivering integrity creates integrity in your relationships and inspired the world around you.
The Oneness Approach extends your awareness of the moment-to-moment intent of others and creates positive change. That’s authentic charisma. Through the efforts of your mirror neurons engaged by your spirituality, you “feel into” the thoughts and the struggles of others. Through your consistent clarity and intent, you deliver compassion where it is needed. In this way you transfer the widom you use to guide your strengths to the wisdom they require to use their strengths effectively.
People sense this. Empathy guided by a mind that is engaged and aligned by their Spirituality is much more powerful than addictive need. Empaths or people with extensive empathic skills, must slowly learn wisdom's dance... helping only when needed, in a way that serves you both... while also serving the world. To others, this kind of help feels respectful. It feels sincere. And it engenders a trust that is built on the Oneness that is created between you, also guided by the Spiritual Source that we all reach for... no matter the name you give.
Finally, in Oneness, you will find that the decisions you make with not only serve your personal good, it will ALWAYS include the good of others serve the greater good.
This third pillar of the Oneness Approach, aligning with the greater good, creates an effortlessness creativity, collaboration and transformation of pain and suffering. And… creates a safe space within, between and beyond!
Teaching you how to engage and develop your Empathic skills in this way is available on the Oneness Approach Leadership video membership.
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