brain-blueYou might ask yourself, “Why are all the news stations so negative?” You’d think people would tire of it and eventually stop listening. You don’t want people sugar-coating what’s happening in the world but you do want what some have called, “responsible journalism.”

More often than not, even when you don’t know what station you are listening to, the biases of the person reporting the news are painfully obvious.

But people do listen to these broadcasters despite these biases. Surprisingly, as you listen to people discussing issues of the day, it becomes clear that many believe what they are being told… hook, line and sinker! The more negative the accusation, the more impact it has, and the more it is repeated.

What happened to having compassion for one another? Does the power of compassion still work in this day and age? And if not, where do you go? How do you prepare yourself and your children for the world you now live in?

How Our Brain Works

Thankfully, in my view, compassion still works. It takes practice, that’s all. So let’s look into our neurobiology to see why we need to practice to get there. And by “get there” I mean that I mean that you return home to your true self (a la Thich Hnat Hanh).

Along the way, this article provides insights into why we see the wholesale spread of lies and sensationalism that induces fear around us.

We have three major motivational systems in our brain.

  • The flight, fight or freeze system: the strongest, activated by a small organ in our brain, the ever watchful Amygdala. It has direct access to your Locus Coeruleus, which gives birth to your Sympathetic Nervous System, responsible for distribution of the hormone adrenalin.
  • The drive center: extends throughout our Cerebral Cortex from our Nucleus Accumbens and distributes Dopamine.
  • The “tend and befriend” system: centers around the Pituitary Gland and projects the hormone Oxytocin in both men and women. The ‘helper system,’ easily overwhelmed by the first two.


As you can see, to build the power of compassion, you need to have your fear and drive circuits working within the limitations of your tend-and-befriend system.

It sounds easy, but it’s tricky to achieve. For example, a certain amount of uncertainty makes a relationship interesting. Remember your first romance? As the uncertainty grows, a tipping point transforms that uncertainty into fear.

At this point, your fear circuit overwhelms your tend-and-befriend system, breaking the trust that allows ongoing compassion.

Ideally, all relationships work with all three internal motivational systems, or the relationship becomes boring. This is why news stories are full of lurid pieces that induce strong feelings of fear, resentment, anger. Murder, infidelity, drug abuse, inequality. It’s all show business, and it’s what keeps people tuning in for more.

In relationships, as we know, when the drive to “get something” becomes excessive, although it may feel exciting, it lacks the intimate awareness, empathy and presence of mind that characterize the compassion.

We (or the network stations, as an example) become so obsessed with “getting something” that it overshadows thoughtfulness. Decisions are based on personal gain, on getting closer to what we want, instead of on compassion for each other or beyond.

The Power of Compassion and How to Build It

Each relationship of your life has a zone where both you and others feel comfortable. Childhood experiences and life experiences decide how big or small your comfort zone is in different situations with different people.

You need to be able to “feel into” other people’s personalities and vulnerabilities. Tap into your Subconscious for “mirror neurons” to guide and grow your power of compassion. It doesn’t just mean the effects of compassion, but rather, your ability to be compassionate.

In the Oneness Approach, begin your meditations grounded in your relationship with your Spiritual Source. As you meditate, solidify your sense of self. Strengthen the Alignment of your Conscious and Subconscious Mind. This grows your sense of “awake awareness” as Loch Kelly calls it, and expands your compassionate comfort zone.

As you walk with this ability in “Oneness,” develop the intention you bring to each moment. Understand, build and direct your compassion. In this way, you extend your ability to read into the intention of others.

With an enlarged intuition, you can easily detect when someone is asking you to make a decision based on fear or personal advantage. Building your power of compassion gives you the ability to see “around the corner” as you make decisions. The way people provide you information says a lot about what drives them… and if you want to go along for the ride.

Knowing your comfort zone and choosing relationships that honor who you are will allow for deep, rich and compassionate decisions. You will be on your way with both wings of the bird ... wisdom and compassion!

Please join me in The Oneness Approach podcast series where we will share the wisdom of other world class teachers including: Gail Brenner, Mark Romero, Ronald Seigel and more.

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