woman-thinkingHas there ever been a time in your life where you made a decision that even now doesn’t make sense to you? Does it “bother” you to this day? Does it seem like you are beating on yourself? Do you want it to stop bothering you? Then, let’s talk about it!

Examining Your Decision Making Tendencies

When you go through something unpleasant because of a "bad decision" you will go through a period of grieving. Many people have developed the habit of assessing all of their major decisions after the fact in an effort to refine their decision-making skills. The quality of your life is often decided by the quality of your decisions. The quality of your decisions often depends on how you assess and eventually make these decisions.

Everyone has methods by which they tend to make decisions. We might call them your decision making algorithms. When someone interviews you for a job they will frequently ask you questions that give them insights into how you make decisions. If you are an employer and are hiring an executive, you may have applicants take psychological tests that assess their decision-making tendencies. Other times you may have a person interviewed by people with different personality types to assess their communication and decision-making skills with different kinds of people.

Many are either unaware of their decision-making tendencies or feel they “go by the seat of their pants” and don’t have any such tendencies. However, we all have a Subconscious Mind that remembers every decision you have ever made. It does its best to come up with a formula that works… or at least did at some point in the past!

You have the ability to “feel into” a certain problem that requires a decision. This allows you to use more of your Subconscious resources and expand your decision-making process. You can “feel into” your known decision-making process and change it if necessary given new information or when correcting for previous mistakes. You can also learn from someone else’s process. You can either have them help you with a single problem (as in counseling) or have them help you with a problem in a way that helps you grow your overall decision-making process (as in therapy).

When You Doubt Your Decision-Making Tendencies

Let’s get back to you beating up on yourself for a decision you made in the past that didn’t work out well. For some reason your Subconscious Mind is not yet happy with what you have taken away from what happened. Given this, it is concerned that you may act not have learned what you needed to. You may notice that you are ‘bothered by” these thoughts when similar decisions need to be made. There are many reasons that you may not have amended your decision-making after you felt the pain of the last decision.

  1. You may feel that there is nothing else you could have done. In this case your Subconscious Mind disagrees and wants you to reconsider all of your options.
  2. You may not have had time to fully consider all of your options before you were forced to move on to something else. Your Subconscious Mind doesn’t want you to forget and feels that now is the time to look into it further.
  3. You may have fully considered the options that seemed available but new information, new wrinkles to the problem, new vulnerabilities, new personalities or simple personal maturity may now provide additional options and again…Subconscious Mind wants you to “feel into it.”

Another possibility is that, right now, something else has you under considerable stress. Whatever is causing you this stress is so overwhelming that you can’t even get yourself to think about it. One way of avoiding present concerns is to rehash a previous stressful time. Although this distracts you, it is painful. Additionally, not fully considering your present situation is going to get you into trouble. You may discover that this might have been what you were doing when you made that decision that didn’t work out so well!

Yet another possibility is that your life is complicated. You are tired. You aren’t taking care of yourself and your Conscious and Subconscious Minds are struggling to remain aligned. It takes intention, focus, attention and an inquisitive attitude to be at your best. Your Subconscious Mind is worried about you and is asking for some basic love and attention!

Finding Your Answers

No matter what you find may be true for you, listen to your inner voice. It is your Subconscious Mind and it is always looking out for you. When it calls, take the time to “feel into” what it is trying to tell you. The emotion that these thoughts cause to enter your Conscious Mind simply lets you know that something around you isn’t fully integrated with your view of life. Search for the right question…and then find your answer!

Oneness can help you to find both your questions and your answers. If you would like to better understand those difficult feelings that occasionally come up and learn to make better decisions, please consider signing up for one of my Oneness Approach courses.


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