Wooden bridge in natureThere are times in our lives when our Subconscious Mind is unable to provide a clear message of support to our Conscious Mind. We’ve all experienced it. We become uneasy but we can’t put a finger as to why.

This unease manifests as feelings of fear and anxiety, self-blame and extreme loneliness.

This loneliness leads to cravings, attempts to fill the emptiness you feel inside. During these times, very little actually satisfies you or gives meaning to your life. And it makes you all the more lonely. It’s a sad cycle that puts a distance between you and those you love. You try to express yourself and they try to understand-- but there’s a gap you can’t seem to cross toward each other.

There are reasons for all of this. They will help you understand what is going on and provide you and those you love the tools to find your way back home to your true self.

How the Disconnect Happens

When your mind is overwhelmed for any reason, there becomes a disconnect between your Conscious and Subconscious Mind.

Your Subconscious Mind loves, cares for, supports, guides and provides the ground for your consciousness. It has a wide scope. Your Conscious Mind is aware of what you are presently thinking…and little else. A narrow scope. And in real time, we are usually only aware of what we are actually thinking. We think that’s all we are, all we have, as in, “I think therefore I am.”

This limited way of thinking about your true self can lead to the difficulties mentioned above. In my view, your Conscious Mind is represented in the Buddhist saying that states, “It is pointing at the moon, but isn’t the moon.” Your Conscious Mind is wonderful and provides you your sense of consciousness but biologically, you are much much more than this!

Your Subconscious Mind combines all of your senses and remembers everything you have ever been exposed to. It is constructed to optimize each moment of your life in every way it can. It learns from the past, optimizes for the future and is constantly working to create harmony for you and all those you know and love.

Did you hear that last part, “and all those you know and love?” Your subconscious mind works with every sense your body offers. There are mirror neurons that allows you to “feel into” how others are feeling. They do this by copying, brain cell by brain cell, the activity of the person you are considering. It is an amazing skill allowing us empathy and compassion.

So… now back to our original question. Why is your wiser Subconscious silent or vague? What is going on when you are overwhelmed and your Conscious Mind finds itself without the support of your Subconscious Mind?

  • First, it is unable to process change so it avoids it by creating distractions that produce false feelings of anxiety, anger or judgment towards something or someone… often yourself.
  • Second, without the constant presence of Subconscious Mind’s Support, the result are great feelings of uncertainty and internal isolation.
  • Third, without the help of Subconscious Mind to interpret the feelings of others, the result is a disconnect with others. Particularly those you love. The more you love someone, often the greater the disconnect.


This explains what is going on. Now what do you do?

How to Build A Bridge Across the Gap

First, be mindful of the disconnect, and be very careful with any decisions and reactions. This would be particularly true with any of your primary relationships. You don’t want to lash out, do or say anything you would regret later, out of fear and anxiety.

Second, get back to the basics. Caring for yourself. This is the time to really work on your sleep habits, nutrition, hydration, safe aerobic exercise, prayer/meditation habits and your daily schedule.

Third, talk to those you trust about what they think may be going on. Often, the loss of connection with others keeps you from the information you need to understand why you are feeling this way. Fight the usual tendency to being detached.

Fourth, talk to your doctor. There are so many physical things that may be going on that can be taken care of easily, especially when caught early.

Fifth, if all else is well, follow the advice of your friends, family and doctor. Reach out to others who have in the same boat and have found relief. This is your extended circle of support and they give you hope and optimism, because they felt similarly and are now better.

Remember, there is a reason you are feeling this way. Never give up. When one person has offered you all that they can, then reach out to another.

No one person will have all of the answers you require. Create a team that will be with you and help you until your Conscious Mind and your Subconscious Mind are back home… supporting each other again… Being an ever wiser you.

Then, remember all that you went through that worked for you… and in some way… pass it on!

You don’t have to go through it alone. It may sound trite, but it’s true: you are not alone. Take all the five steps above with me. Start rebuilding your bridges. Subscribe and find your inner voice again.


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